It's been hard finding a new church. I'm so tired of going to church and evaluating; a mistake a preacher at our old church made, we'd trust was a simple slip of the tongue and relax. The same mistake at a new church and we wonder - does he know that it was Reuben and not Simeon? Was it a slip of the tongue, or does he not know? And how much does it matter if someone gets Joseph's brothers mixed up anyway? Potentially going from a laid-back, somewhat demonstratively conservative church, to a hands-up-if-you-love-the-Lord kind of church, so confusing! Church cultures are another world altogether! Is anything biblically wrong, or just different? Maybe it's better? Why didn't our old church do this? Will I ever make it past rookie (according to Tim Hawkins)? See - exhausting!
And last year with the pregnancy, when I spent a whole year exhausted, we just stopped going. I find it frustrating that growing up attending church every Sunday means nothing when it comes to habit. We fell out of the habit so easily, and getting back into the habit is hard.
Chatting to a friendly guy the last time we attended one particular church (memo to people who have a home church: say hello to the new people - you save us!) - he suggested a question that has stuck with me in regards to choosing a new church - can I grow here?
That's on top of my other simple wants: sound teaching, community, children's program.
I think it's a great question, and the reason why we've ruled some churches out - too comfortable, too easy to blend in and never be challenged. Not that we want to be challenged - we hate it. But we know it's good for us, like all those things I should do, but never do, like exercise and get out of bed on time.
Anyway. By God's grace, by his undeserved goodness - we have movement. Rans and I can be lazy. If Bible-reading-avoiding was a video game, we'd be playing on Expert/Legendary/Master and owning (I can't type 'pwning', I'm 28 and a mother of three. I just can't).
We're seeing movement though - in our habits and in our hearts. We sat down to watch a video from The Meeting House, and it was taking ages to load and we got talking about one of the quotes the video started with, and then we started arguing (not fighting) about it, and we went at it for maybe an hour and I was all discouraged and bothered, because the video was loading in toddler-time and we were arguing and then I realised we'd actually had a really good discussion and both learned heaps! I was wanting a relaxed experience and instead Rans had been pushing my buttons and making me defend my points and I realised I'd learned stuff, and so had he! Grace, that God knows what we need and provides it - even if it initially doesn't look like provision to us. Now we're hungry for truth and meaning and motivated to move towards Who we believe is the source of those things.
(By the way - if you know me and are curious about what I believe - I think I'm happy to throw my hat in with The Meeting House's teaching. Not that I know what 'throwing my hat in' even means. But it's funny and easy to listen to and their usual speaker's name is Bruxy for goodness' sake! BRUXY!)
Here are some other things I'm thankful for.
A milkshake and muffin date with River. And then pizza and Mary Poppins with the family that night. It was only after all this we realised they'd naughtily sneakily helped themselves to a bag of lollies that morning also. So. Much. Sugar.
This little lady who is trying SO hard to talk to us! Nothing delights her more than when we copy her 'oooh' face. It's like she's thinking 'Yes! I'm getting it!'
She is such a happy baby. Even when she's grumbling, it's sort of more like good-natured yelling.
I linked up with Grace Laced Mondays again. Even though it's 44 minutes into Tuesday.
I feel slightly thrillingly rebellious.