I took the kids to get a couple of needles last night. They'd never had them before (I had my reasons, that none of their doctors/paeds ever took issue with) and I finally felt a peace about it, and with whooping cough seeing a bit of a resurgence here and there, we went for it...
Let me just say that River's cry was so heartbreaking that the parents next to me cried as well. And when Silas went to sit on my knee, River desperately tried to stop him saying 'no no Silas, you don't want the needle'*. I'm a bit teary just remembering. What did I do to deserve such a sweetheart? Nothing, I know.
*Silas, of course, stubbornly but uncertainly replied, 'no, I do want it'. I love my contrary lad.
Lowie was a bit cross, but the time-honoured milky pacifier soon had her calm and sleepy.
I bought them a happy meal AND sundaes for dinner. I felt so sorry for them. I don't enjoy these lessons in hurting them to help them.
But I have lots to be thankful for.
Thankful that we have vaccinations - and that I was able to delay vaccinations because of the herd-immunity our country enjoys.
Thankful that I could beg God for peace and calm when I wanted to sob, so I could focus on soothing my boys.
Thankful for the lovely nurse who came and chatted to me afterwards, who didn't judge us delaying vaccinations but praised me for researching and understood my reasons.
Thankful the children all slept well that night.
Thankful for my kids. My main prayer is for patience, because I lack it and they test it - but in those moments when they are so vulnerable I thank God for the reminder of how precious they are. They are just so...well - if you're a parent, you know it, right? It makes my heart ache, and if I'm not careful it leads to panic - how can I protect them? What if God chooses to take them? What if they get sick? Trust is hard.
So - thankful for a God who loves my children more than I do, and is patient when I struggle with trust.
Apparently the council nurse is going to call me to help organise the rest of our vaccination schedule. I'm considering some sort of no-phone-answering fast. For purely spiritual reasons of course...